Full transparency: For so many years, I lived in fear when it came to trying to start a family. I’ve had so many insecurities and fears surrounding being a dad and bringing a child into such an evil world. I have lived in a world of what-ifs for far too long!
On top of my fears, I think about my journey of healing as a man, husband, and human being. My brain goes back to so many immature moments I’ve had with women from my teenage to young adult years. Even as a young Christian, I was caught up in cycles of not knowing how to respect a woman, knowing how to be honest, and knowing how to communicate my emotions best. (I’m still in process with this)
I’ve allowed not having what I needed growing up to hold me back and be a stumbling block. I found myself making excuses for far too long. As men, we often don’t spend enough time dealing with our brokenness, searching deep within ourselves, and healing the broken pieces.
This may not even be talked about publicly enough, but as men, our decisions (as a teenager, young man/man) toward young ladies/women impact our thinking, leading, speaking, and treating of ourselves and, of course, our children. Not alone, considering how women are affected by our stupidity/ immaturity.
The commitment to being a husband and becoming a dad has generational impact. It wasn’t until the miscarriage that I realized there would not often be a perfect or ideal scenario to be ready for parenthood, which is okay. I have to be okay and content that I’ve done the best I can for myself and my family to be ready to provide emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually for a little one.
I may be starting fatherhood at an older age than most of my friends and peers, and that’s okay. I’ve fought hard to work on being better, not just for me but also to show the world that good men exist.
Anyways, I share these thoughts because fear gripped me for many years. I’ve had to learn how to let that fear go and trust God with the outcome. I can’t try and be in control of the unknown any longer.
I hope this encourages someone on their journey to parenthood. I hope this reaches other men who have a similar background and upbringing as I did.
May the decisions we make now impact our families in the most positive way for generations to come!
P.S. Yes, I will be 40 years old picking up my kid from kindergarten! 😆🤷🏽♂️
P.S.S. Girl dad loading… 🙌🏽🎊